Lonliness

An echo sweeps the floor
Like a canyon inside my mind
Thoughts slip
Transformation, something inside
Inhuman soul
And I unwind
Some wheel to grasp
Raspy, sticky
Like an illusion
Negotiated into immortality
With a secret
Beneath a rock

Thoughts slip

A fraction laughing in my face
A burden over an empty lot
A coffin dreams
The living paralysis
Obliterates
Unwittingly irregular memory
I am prostrate
Before, myself
At long last
The putrid stench
Of the feverishly tattered blackness
Is revealed
The blasphemy of my existence

Thoughts slip

A smoldering cosmic hole
A predatory pit
Of unimaginable depth
A secret peek
The deafening ancestral halt
A breeze inexorably brushes the dust
Unknown symbol of annihilation
Conquered by emptiness
Terror of the calm
Horror beyond monstrosity
Casual catastrophe
Phantasms beneath
Seeds of damnation

Thoughts slip
Thoughts slip

Machine

I've always seen the machine behind the stage
I see the players behind the plague
I see the neurons behind the rage
I've seen the machine beyond the age

But you my love
I'm not ready to give up this cigarette
Not going to let this pay out yet
Holding on to the threads in the net
Keeping together this happiness bet

We play on, give a shove
Dice thrown down with the glove
Out in front of chance, love
See what we can come out ahead of

I've always seen the cause of everything
Always taken granted the workings of the machine
But this is beyond those simple, feeble things
Our love is a gamble greater than what can be

Star Matter

We are all just
Flesh, bone, neurons
Star matter
That no longer
Burns as bright
Chemicals
Struggling against
The long sleep
Of cold
We are all just
Grey matter
Inside our heads
Observing out
Struggling to
Matter
In filters made
Of us
We know only
What matters

Spires

Spires rise, concrete
Enormous golemns
And stretch flat and thin
Beneath us
And we set in motion
All around
Our feet, our minds,
Our desires
And spread thin among
The spires
Like dust
Temporary ghosts
A pale film of us
Through time
Nothing remains
Scatters beneath and between
And constantly stretching
Skyward, outward
Sentinels of our
Hubris
Spires

Dream

My arms wrap her
In the curl of my dream
And the cone of my existence
Unfolds
The night air drifts by
Unseen
And her stare
Holds me
Between
She moves, transfixed
Amongst all points
And speaks unheard
Time is soft
And flowing
And she drifts away
Only me

After Life

Where do I end, and you begin?
Or, for that matter, when?
What is a mind, and where is it's space and time?
Are we just the mechanical result of particulate interaction?
Can what defines consciousness be copied, so that there would be two of you?
Is that still you?
If I turn the original mind off, do "you" still exist in the copy?
Can I digitally simulate what makes up your mind?
If I can, can I pause the simulation?
Does that kill you, or are you still alive when the simulation resumes?
Is the simulation "you"?
If I pause "you", then resume "you" later, is it still you?
What if the pause is thousands of years?
If your mind stops, then a digital simulation of your mind immediately starts, is that "you"?
If we replace your brain with a prosthetic one, is that you?
How about if we do it one brain cell at a time?
At what point does it cease being "you", and become not "you"?
If I eventually end up with a prosthetic, mechanical brain that "you" reside in, can I then pause the functioning without killing "you"?
What is the difference then, between a prosthetic and a digital simulation?
If I record a digital simulation's functioning, can it be rewound, altered, copied, and evaluated?
What then, is the difference between a "you" that functions now, and a time-delayed "you" that functions at an indeterminate point in the future?
Does it matter what form it takes?
What are the odds of computational ability becoming so advanced in the future that we can simulate entire minds?
How long will it take?
Does it matter?
Given infinite universes, or even the infinite potential of the mind, does it make sense that someone, somewhere might figure out how to view other universes?
Or times?
Might people in the future be able to view the past?
Might it be trivial for them to capture the composition of a dying person's mind?
Would an untrained, delicate mind need some training and acclimation to a new time frame in a simulated world before being introduced to the new one?
Would that necessitate connecting many simulated minds into an integrated simulation?
Would then, the simulated minds simply be conceptual within the conceptual frame of existence?
Could there be conceptual frames of existence which exist for the purpose of training minds away from dysfunctional behaviors?
Might they be populated with many other dysfunctional minds, each there to learn?
What are the odds that you're in one now?
Where do I end, and you begin?

Internal

Statuesque
Opaque, solidness
Unmoved, blind
Internal forces of mind

Torque
Twisting, exploit
Heating, pushing out
Internal stages of doubt

Queue
Waiting, unchanging view
Shifting, undulate
Internal wages of hate

It's Going To Be OK

The surface scars and the barroom brawls
And ages of regretfull yarns
Were burried there, beneath his rustic skin
The things unsaid, the love not shown,
Worlds left unexplored
Were yet his, and it had shown
Piled high upon the results of his decisions
Like racecars broken against the walls
He had left it all and reaped his last
And converted oxygen to CO2 no more.
Before he went, he cussed and hollared
And even the Doctors had to scowel
Maybe even a few mistakes
Had hastened him along
And yet another life which had desperately
Clung to itself
Trying hard not to loose
Memories and further chances
Bruises, and abuse
At long last, it all poured out
And the atoms of the man
Became another form.
And the surface scars and the barroom brawls
Can no longer be remembered
The lifeless form, the undone husk,
This template of a man
Will be discarded in the dirt

And whether he loved or destroyed
Abandonded or rejoiced
Conquered, shared, or retreated
Whether he was afraid, ruined, or overjoyed
All things are now the same to him
His cares are now wasted,
His memories disperssed
His form is now thrashed beneath the stone
There is nothing now that holds meaning to him
He has be come a concept
An abstraction
A character we play through in our minds
The meaning is now ours, upon these stages
The only effects he left behind
Quieting, even now, like ripples in a pond

Life clings to itself.
Desperately.
It is terrified of stopping
Ceasing to exist
But look beyond, below the terror,
Through the fog of the meanings
That life holds so dear
And you will understand
That it's going to be OK.

Creator

I hurt, I am broken into pieces
I can pound my chest and scream
Or cast blame on the things which
Create the most immediate pain
Without looking further out, deeper in
Or I can realize that the creator
Of my condition, including the infusion
Of the immediate painful influences
On my life
Is me

Sand In Our Toes

I remember
Way back when
Trips to sunny states
Big family visits
Smiles all around
And us kids loved Disneyland

Gettin up at 6 am
Our work was never done
Oh, but we had lots of fun
We loved God and friends
Sure, we had cross words
But we all made up in the end

There was sand between our toes
There were tears and bloody noses
Rides in the back of pickup trucks
Lessons learned and
Love that was earned and
Broken hearts and broken bones
There was sand between our toes
There were tears and bloody noses
Rides in the back of pickup trucks
Lessons learned and
Love that was earned and
There was sand between our toes

Just think for a minute or two
About me and you
And the times we're from
And the things we've done
Our life is a tapestry
Of beauty made by you and me

I remember fishing trips
With Dad and Grandpa Jon
I had a dog and I had chores
We learned respect and responsibility
No one had cell phones
We all had back bones

There was sand between our toes
There were tears and bloody noses
Rides in the back of pickup trucks
Lessons learned and
Love that was earned and
Broken hearts and broken bones
There was sand between our toes
There were tears and bloody noses
Rides in the back of pickup trucks
Lessons learned and
Love that was earned and
There was sand between our toes

Zombie Lover

Shattered into fragments
Only time remains
Remiss against the pressing
Desires
We tend to dance
Listless and tulmultuous
Through life, through love
And out again
As if captured forever
In animated repose
Transgressing into
Regrets
Doubt lingers like
Coldest touch
Tendrils in the mind,
Marrionette
Belief turned upon
Is now consumption
Action without thought
Thought without depth
Depth without soul
Consume
And remain
Dead

Vanish

Where do we go
At the end
When all we do
Runs against the tide
When we run
Into the wall
When our brilliance
Is just vanity

Where do we go from here
Watching all you grasp for
Dissappear
What is it you strive for
When everything seems to be
Broken
What can you do to come clear
When all that you are begins to
Vanish

Shoveling shit
Your dreams flail
Like a rag doll
Someone's got to fail
The purge of hope
The culling of joy
Your smiles fade
And again you say

Where do we go from here
Watching all you grasp for
Dissappear
What is it you strive for
When everything seems to be
Broken
What can you do to come clear
When all that you are begins to
Vanish

Wondering how
You got here now
Throwing down
Your useless crown
Bloody ruins
Pain runs deep
Like a target
Like a damn creep

Where do we go from here
Watching all you grasp for
Dissappear
What is it you strive for
When everything seems to be
Broken
What can you do to come clear
When all that you are begins to
Vanish

One Damned Day

Against the thrust of the knife
Bleeding hearts locked in desire
Lost against the sea of belief
Weeding out each other's pain

Believing in a gentler ending
Trust against the tides and rain
Repealing what you really know
Stabbing the drowning heart

Within their chest, beating hard
Hearts begin and remain, testing
Passing through each and every day
Vastly underestimating, opened

Here at last, it has come to you
One damned day
Here at last, trust has broken you
One damned day
Bleeding out, the knife thrust too deep
One damned day
Shattered against these broken walls
One damned day

Torn into a bloody mess and broken
Trailing behind the onward pushing
Conclusion of believing in this ending
Now detesting standing in this rain

Footholds slipping, going backwards
Longing now is all that is left
Belief was what you once possessed
Illusions dissapear into the sea

Running now on empty fumes, protest
Like empty husks which winds possess
Gentle endings turned against the hearts
And pushed, far too deep, we weep

Here at last, it has come to you
One damned day
Here at last, trust has broken you
One damned day
Bleeding out, the knife thrust too deep
One damned day
Shattered against these broken walls
One damned day

Acceptable Losses

How did we get here
From where we once were
Into this state of being
So many things
We took for granted
Took away
Successions of
Intimate knowledge
In repose
Mutual attenuation
Subtle changes
Less ourselves
Brought to bear
Against each other
Over unity, perpetually
Broken, unresolved
Without healing
We dissolve
Without earning
Trust and giving
Benefit from doubt
We embrace only
Acceptable losses

Comfort

Fragile cocoons
Shielded from the randomness
Without perspective
We who are encased
Unaware, unabased
Unprovoked to find
New fate
Embolded by a higher care
Denying lesser phantom noise
In this system
We judge our own
But which defines
Itself alone
Closed structures do not allow
Our benign instructions
Beliefs in moral equations
To be tested
Beyond belief
Within this system
This shield
From grief

Lid (Haiku)

Flip open the lid
I punch the power button
My whole world has changed

Cheating

Proving only a feeling
Thoughts upon actions, imbibed
The grace of rendering
Uncaring lies
A distinct silhouette
The curtains draw again
Upon the darkened stage
Shadows and ghosts
Of an unspoken rage
Kneeling in the mud
Propping up this shame
Starting over anew
And it is all the same
Tranquil seems the day
But in the end it's here to stay
Internal rended holes
Have their own parts to play
Darkening the stage
Even as the next dance begins

Illusion

Blessed fertility of thoughtful illusion
Simultaneous versions of self and imagination
Pages beneath the creases, reality on abstraction
Universal energetic subsistence, realized ambition
Individual molecular vibration, harmonized persistence
Charged polar regions and variable resistance
Subtle dynamic angular momentum, subtracting maleficence
Sharp perpendicular forces, abrading into chaotic apparition

Promises

There was a day
Made special and important
Reflecting now back at us
In which we made solemn
Our intentions
Defined us, the nature
Of our togetherness
We molded our souls
By our combined will
Passion to exist
As one entity
United against the world

All was said in vain
All was laid to strain
And after all
What did we attain
Between the moments
Each breath exhaled
Making empty the words
Fraught with frost
Grappling now with
Empty ghosts
Pushed into the storm
Vague memories
Holding back the world
Alone

Momentum

Rolling into the next
Momentary frame of existance
The fate of inertia breaks
The fate that inertia makes
Casting shadows and dust
In the mixing confusion
Hueing the strain
Of the randomized forces
Who's shadow now is felt
Only in the momentum
That is left

Adrift

Blunt social instruments
Verbal, incorporeal, unreal
Superceding the id
The subtle creations of
Interrelatedness
Relevance spawned internally
Discourse provokes a balance
Yearning and belonging
Longing and becoming more
To gather together and stay off
The tides of unimportance, regret
Social needs pressed against
Internal conflicts
Perceptions which never quite
Seem complete
Social creatures, who in reality
Never truely
Connect

When

When will I feel
Like I'm OK
Like I can have
The experiences
Of life,
But without love
Like a novel
With the best parts
Edited out,
Leaving only
Void blank pages
A drivel of endless
Meaninglessness
When will I feel
Again

Slipping

The best thing that ever happened
Slipping through my fingers
Blew away, out of sight, grip
Faster than I could react
Or understand the intentions
There was one thing upon which
I thought I could rely
There was only one thing
I ever truly wanted
To entangle my consciousness
My soul, my being, my everything
To inspire and perspire with
Beneath the gray blue skies
The best thing that ever happened
Slipped away while I slept
And although I never knew regret
I am now beyond reason
And my soul no longer guides me
I sense that there is something
Within me which is missing...
Something I cannot name
Slipping away

Depth

How much room do you leave
Between the strokes
Of genius and emotion
How simple a task
To undo the mask
And hone another illusion
How pale a face
Inside your grace
Left to a simple confusion

None can take
What was never given
Without a cumbersome balance
Of intellectual dissolve
To stay the tides
Of a simple slight
There can only be
These shallows of
Uncaring

Sometimes

Sometimes bad things happen
And people don't recover
Sometimes you lose someone you love
Whether to death or disparity
And you never find someone as wonderful
Sometimes the world will show
Its harsh nature to we
Who are so ill-equipped
To handle the blows
The indescribably aweful things
That happen to us and to
Those around us
It is globally ironic
That we do not have the
Mental tools that we need
From birth
To handle the pain and misery
That is inflicted upon us
With such frequency
As to shatter our collective souls
But here we are
Those of us who can
Live on into the next moment
And when you are done
Reading this
You will, too.

Alone

Tears alone in the corner
Feeling as empty as the room
Gnashing at the walls, at the air
At anyone here who will listen
But I'm alone, so it's just me
Wishing for God, praying for a breeze
Some comforting arms in this cold
Turning in the darkness
Pain is like needles against hope
Unbelievable things dancing in my thoughts
Unanounced guests of despair, jealousy
Knives in the dark, and I am alone
Burning passion lingering longer
Against the waves of time and cruelty
Putting out the lights, killing reason
Ransomed for a piece of ignorance
Destroyed for this wordless haze
I cannot comprehend this phrase
Where is the meaning in this pain
I am not the person I used to be now
I am alone

Inner

At all ends conceding
In all things I'm bleeding
Needing a little more
Holding my breath
Regression of inner structure
Progression works as always
Taking away that which
Should have been becoming
Better

Undulating on we struggle
Thru all remaining things we tumble
Breathing a little more
Vision becoming ever narrower
Grasp of consequence following suite
Churning the end into the beginning
Mixing the mist into the air
Becoming the fog and taking the
Care

Self Control

I can feel the blood flow
To my head, producing heat
I can see the fight within
Struggle without victory
There and there is the beauty
I see and I know and it burns
Within my mind again and again
But then there is this other
And amongst the ashes of
Inevetibility
And the draw of the beast
Comes into play the ending
Twisting both concern and care
Around with the immediacy
And broken outcome of desire
And all the while I know
I just know
What I will do

Dysfunction

Dysfunction is
Another word
For denial
And apathy
The tired eye
That turns away
Can only see
Other things
Only cries
When faced with
Betrayed by
Revealed by
Opened briefly to
The aftermath
Impending
Overwhealming
Retreating
Until the eye
Can turn again
Away

Aspire

Out of sync
With everything
You do
Two islands
Less significant
Less the same
Longing to know
To share the world
To inspire
And conspire
But blocked
Great distance
This vast
Crevasse
Between the us
In our worlds
Apart

Who creates
The you
The sublime
Structure in your
Mind
Your influence
Future
Decision structure
Matrix of
Youth becomes
Adult world
And where
Is the growth
Where are you
Going
To whom do you
Aspire

My infuence
Is minor
Much restrained
My experiences
Taking the lead
Options removed
Watching closely
Unrelenting changes
The impact
Of it all
Growing stronger
And yet
Not mine
And again
To whom
Do you
Aspire

Expect

It's raining out again
No score like the present
Verses in our hearts
Music from mind to reality
We tend to get what we expect
And so I know it's coming
But I cannot create
What I cannot dream
And so I know
There is little
I can really do
The sadness always does
What I thought it would
We tend
To get
What we
Expect

Miss

You say everything
Will be all right
But I'm unchanged
Because you've managed
To miss the point

Blowing out the candles
Grains of sand in the wind
Endings and forevers
And all the emptiness
That should never be

Agonizingly farther
Each step another version
Lives and minds apart
And somewhere within
Missing the point

The Loss

That was it then
There was no more
You had stopped
And so had we
In a sense
And yet we continue
Leaving behind
A piece of our
Will, consciousness, memory
Unable to describe
Even to each other
What we are missing
Or just where we hurt
Only that
What we are missing
Is you.

There is no more
An empty place
A lonely room
A lingering memory
Touching everything
Thru sight, feel, and smell
We sense the empty door
Never coming thru
Facing now
Only the ticking clock
Of what we all were
A life that was made
Better, because of your
Presence there
Now ripping a hole
In my chest

Going Home

Without a trace
Found without face
Round the corner
Failing to embrace
All that we should
Grappling with ourselves
Is hard enough
Too much to ask
Gaining on the rest
Is this all there is?
Here we are
But only for a while
Nothing remains
How did they do it before
But more important
It seems
Where are they now
Tells us, in the end
Where we are
Going

Law Abiding Citizen

Law abiding citizen
Forced into the lion's den
Wrestling from end to end
Carying a heavy burden

Whipping posts we shed in masses
And watch as meaninglessness gathers
Here we are, enlightened masses
Unaware, the goodness passes

Law abiding citizen
Unified held under pen
Waking to the bitter end
Looping 'round now here again

Taking aim the hammer falls
Smacking of the hubrus walls
Held against the will of all
Hammer strikes before the fall

Law abiding citizen
Striking back and getting even
Justice dealt in leagues of demons
By the hark we are revealing

Why Bother

Greatness comes in spades
Thankless, unwitting grades
Comes in many shades
Soulless, soundless fades
Unseen and unrelenting days
Spanning overhead, allways
Stealing vigor, leaving haze

Quealching without intention
Gravity of all who run
Resistance of the sun
Grasping, holding none
Asking and never done
Only a parable of apprehension
Achievement without mention

Significance

Events transpire, gaining much
And leaving little to acquire
Net effect remains constant
As we come and go, causing much
To entwine, to forego, to become
To seek endless change and conspire
Dealing sameness to the world
And in the end, behold the entire
The significance is in the mire

A baby's breath is added to behold
And questions of significance re-told
That what we toil and sacrifice
And the critical mass, our demise
A loss, too much to comprehend
And seeking a different sort of revenge
Weakening, just like the rest
Ever pushing on, just like a test
Which never ends, tiring nonetheless
The significance is in the mess

Explode

Incoherent blur
Bubbling boiling static
Throbbing gush
Whirling, spinning
Noise deafened,
Dark retreat
Gnashing thawed
Ringing overtone
Breathless sight
Mindless plight
Shattered air
Battered delivery
Timeless reprieve

What About

It's that time again
Looking back,
This past is me
These deeds created
Attained my very soul
And now everything
Everyone
Is moving on, into
The next moment, always
More important
But frozen I seem
Like a temporal
Artifact
It's all moved beyond now
Created, but left for
The beyond
Time has moved on
But what about
Me

Filthy Humans

These things run thru
My mind, going nowhere
What was it in you,
That destroyed it, smashed
Killed the intentions
Making everything
And everyone
Unclean
You filthy humans
You sycophantic
Unrelentingly
Self-absorbed
Note the fallen shame
Attack the silent, blame
Burning good will
With torches lit high
Taking the unholy
Crusade to every door
Striking disgust
In the hearts and minds
Killing the trust
And taking your time

What was it in you
That took the lies
And formed another truth
And made mud pie
Out of the Earth
Which nurtured us once
Now lost, now disgust
Replaces all semblence
Of thoughtful sentience
We are what you have become
All ugly, filthy humans
Wallowing in our cumulative
Denominations, our trade
Grating the nose to the grind
And failing, one and all
To suffice
We all suffer now
We all blunder on
We are now all,
One and the same,
Filthy humans

Those Lost

I wandered alone
Amongst the souls
Lost now and still
Each one an echo
Of life and longing
Passion of being
Now disconnected
One a child
Feelings of sorrow
Forelorn beyond
Simple comprehension
A life ended
A family broken
And a soul alone
The tears of the dead
Fall among us
Granting a little
If only to see
A little more

The Promise

I promise to love you
While you are here
I promise to find
The grace between
You and me
To close the distance
And amplify our energy
Mutual reserviors,
Seen, opened, and touched
I promise to love you
While you are here
To reason with fate
And grasp wisdom's domain
With our many hands
We pry at the gates
Of perfection
While you are here

This Flesh

I am this flesh
This hair; these limbs
This skin; what wrapped within
These nerves; these thoughts
I am this flesh
Built upon each trying test
Made by more to diminish less
From my beginning
To my dying breath
I am this flesh

How Many Sons

How many sons to die for kingdoms yet unproclaimed
And how many to die for that what yet remains
How great a sacrifice do the ringing bells require
How to feed and swell an army to do the king's desire

And nations now long passed away, and soldiers given to decay
Do the years between now sound the simplest form of this way
That those who fought for now lost or stolen rights should say
Did so much loss give us that for which a legacy could stay

And intervening years have not wizened us to history's call
And so still the cause becomes the reason to marching footsteps' fall
And still the kings and deacons do not as well as live for all
And so our sons still to the fray upon which we lean we call

Orbiting the Hole

Satelite swinging around the sun
No light given; reflecting none
Now empty host, now airless stone
Now wandering lost, cold and alone
This unsparkeling jewel; this dayless night
This gravitational pull, this starlit plight
Creeping through unending time, space so vast
Anchored still to loss-engravened past
Not remembered, not forgotten, forever here
Circling the stars forever, never there.

Judge-Of-Naught

I sit alone beneath
A vulgar glaring stare
She watches my soul
Through stained-glass eyes.
The gaze of death
Ashamed of me; of herself
Nothing gained, she tires,
Erects from her sitting posture
A grave
And leaves herself behind.

All Grown Up

What did it leave you with?
Cause and effect
Learning to turn
Ugly pages
Away...
Ugly dirt;
Foundation
Building the house
Higher
Crumbling away
Beneath
The fortress
Must
Keep everything
Inside
Battering ram
From within
Tortured walls
Pushing out
Unmended tear
Shreds
Huff
Puff
What are you
Left with
Now?

Mud

Malignant or benign
It doesn't matter when
Falling into the mud
Settling to the ground
Taking everything apart
Breathing dust
Of the bitter end
Means moving on
Betrayal of existance
Between the drooling jaws
Everything; a predator
Existance abuse
Into the mud
We fall
Again

Always

Blinding sun of scolding
Behold the sea of scorning
Never learn forever turn
The pages in a different light
It seeks another flight
Of sorrow; remains at rest
Shut the gate; anticipate
The ending of this fate
Yet always there, grinding
Seeking different hue
Somehow, I always knew...

Advantage

I sensed your pain
I smelled your fear
And I knew why
And so I
Crushed you

Chaos

Writhing people
Dirty chaos
Afraid and alone
In perturbed harmony
Arbitrary standards
Of conformity
Break down
Into their pools
Of anarchy
Writhing people
Dirty chaos
Pushing like the wind
Like we did
All along

Scraps

The world turns
The hairpin turns
Those that can
Do
Building sandcastles
In the wind and rain
Before the tides that come
Do
Building, learning
Dying, burning
Being, becoming, making
Do

Hung

And I began to look
And I saw how grotesque
It really was.
There it hung
In the coldness of the air
In the breath each drawing in
In the sky now cloudy still
In the touch the freezing rain
I ventured guess forever pain
And into the bloodstained earth
And extinguished breath
Do plod whatever had
And in the rain
Against the dirt
Grotesque as ever was
There it hung.

Lazy

Flesh unmoving
At all ends connected
Empowered; unwilling
Embrace the pestillence
Scratch the surface
And lie still.
Ever the cleansing spire
Of wisdom
Wander the sullen halls
Never forget
The path to return
Upon which we tread
With consternation
Remember the thread
And lie still.

The Curse

From birth,
To life;
To blood
To blade,
Of sword;
To curse,
To grave.
As the victor
Cleanses vicious
Sword
Of the lost
He casts the
Curse upon
Himself
For how much
Better
For the living
To curse the
Dead
Than for the
Grave
To curse
The living

Summer Lake Pine

Dark green, unseen
By harsh daylight
Gently bowing over
Shadow's subtle flow
Whisps carried within
Wafting the summer
Breeze throughout all
Carried upon
Bird sond
And saplings' hope
Giving breath
To the wind
You carry us all

Overseas

At the dawn of the dusk
Before the land has tasted
The bitterness of the dark,
And still delight
Between the ages of the
Punishing heat of the sun
And the dreary lonliness
Of the stars' song
The grey clouds streak long
Into the deep red
Of the setting sun
And beyond
As grand as the shadows
Now cast
Beyond the seas
A chilling hint of sacrifice
And tales of long-lost
Paradise of youth
Spent upon the sand
And spilt into the earth
Overseas

The Selfless Quest

There is very little now
Left of it all
Very little not taken
By those with disregard
Nothing at all of the selfless
Nothing to intertwine
And make better the frey
No further intermingling
Of the lost with the giving
What already not taken
By force
By guile
By influence of imposition
Letting suffer the meek
The crush of the weak
Let tangle the lies
With the subtle attrition
Reducing us all
To the lowest common
Selfish bile

Hurt

Arms extended
Tracing trails of fear
And callous
In wide arcs
Denying
Shame defying
Passing on
Into the next
Recompense
Becoming the host
Absorbing infliction
Relenting misery
Viciously cycle
Touching the core
Caring not
Spirit debased
Into the next
Passing on

Daddy Away

Could not go back
I try every day
The blindness devours me
Brings me down into its grave
Holds me there
Cold and alone
The terror of my choices
Screaming the dread
In my bones
Turning cold
Could not go back
To escape the numb
To pain instead
Just fo feel
Something again
I'm missing your life
Your thoughts
You're becoming what
I didn't realize you've
Always been
Person
Little man
Could not go back
I would not wish
This fate
This aweful state
On your precious shoulders
These confining walls
This confining
State of mind
Hope and dread
In silence
Bring me to my knees
Grasping for you
If but only
For a better fate
The cleaning
Of this slate

Tides

Longing for breath
Droning delerium
Crushing depths
Darkness pressing in
Anxiety begotten
Desperation, my soul
Feeling about; blind
Truth to grasp
Somewhere within
Closing in
Losing sight
Losing touch
Reaching in
Finding nothing left
Against these tides
Of strain
Questing within to seek
The lesson
Escaping me
My plight
Reaching the end
Drowning; pushing out
Longing for breath

Turn

A passing day has come to turn away
In passing, lets the tired needles burn
And take forever what, in solice granted
Once forgotten, now replanted seeds of life

Now amongst the ruined lands, I turn
And gaze upon the stern and bow
Leave behind what once I learned
Ship of Wonders, to dust; return

Static

In a room; only one
Silouette against the sun
Whispy trails of heated air
Rise defiantly; changing none

Drone the fan; unending
Relentless plan of time rebaking
Making firm the subtle changes
And making not a single one

Given to the endless pace
Alteration of time and place
Recalling not the empty gaze
Return again to time undone

Oceans of Thought

Beneath oceans of thought
I ponder; drifting on winds
Of ice, no longer seek the shore
Howeling wind does put
Asunder, troughs of waves
And let them plunder
Beneath; against vexxed skies
Of thunder, roiling, darkening mist
Of never, casting rain on lonely
Shadows, between it all uncaring air
Gives breath to ponder more.

Seasickness

Up and down
Rippling
Over the
Sea.
Nausea
Dripping with
Sweat covers
Me.
Undulate
Over the
Edge of the
Wave.
Billows of
Water flow
Madly
Around.

Guitar

Notes, sounds
Crying to me
From my guitar
Crying, begging
To set me free
I play the notes
That speak aloud
Steel strings
Under my fingers,
You cannot feel,
But you can cry.
Cry with me...

Kill

Shadowed shore drawing breath
Illumination of only death
Blackened trees; seeds of faith
Leaning over blacker waters
Falsehood entomb, malice injest
Draw me in; take my breath
Concern no more for my health
My only hope nourishes iniquity
Speak the truth; perceive a lie
Blackened fates and blacker thoughts
Nearer to the beast within
Acid breath and roiling flame
Engripped of claws that kill; insane
See the hell, speaking well
Yearning for the nearer end
Tighten grip and suffocate
All true thoughts are quelled by hate
Cannot dissipate the wicked fog
Darkness, devastate; death your gain
Undo this pain; engravened strain
Try to turn the ugly page
Try to count the freezing rain
Enduring; cannot ever be the same
Continue struggle to survive
Killing contest; stay alive

Mortality

Falling from the sky
Suspended by a ring of cloth
Drifting on a sea of wind
For all that it's worth
I'm falling to the earth
The killers below skyward aiming
Crashing streaks of endless maiming
Taunting the immortal vapor
With mortal self
Indulged.

Ruins of the sky protest
In jest; spit upon the earth
Bathing in a stream of mud
For all that it's worth
I'm returning to my berth
The killers around now ignoring
Thunder jolts the torrents of mourning
Taunting the immortal ways
With mortal self
Indulged.

A Father's Memories

Standing over her
Standing on top of it all
Remembering when
I was there myself
Not so long ago
Prodigy
Staring back at me
A mind to fill
With so many things
I barely understand
Myself
No
Control

She moves, she speaks
But doesn't understand
The words
The discipline
I love, I teach, I work
Infant
Pride comes with
Small Achievements
So much to remember
Will all be gone
Soon
No
Time

Soft breath mists the air
As patiently she speaks
Making her plans
For the world
For her place in it
Young woman

Unshadowed

Some things foresensed
Cannot be changed, as now.
Foreshadowed is the valley
Upon the mountain's ascent
A peak have I faced;
And so now tempt the shadows
Upon whose lap I sit
And like a giddy child
Continue with wonder
That they should be so kind.

She Wants

She wants your eyes to sparkle
To caress her gentle gaze
To know that in your heart
You cherish
Every moment of her ways
She wants to rest her head
Upon your mighty shoulders
And know that carried not
Upon the wind
You abide her future dear
And certain of embracing past
With love
You meet her gaze

Meeting Her

Heartbeat echoes
Persistant drum
Dispelling chants
In my head
That squeeze out
My confidence
It returns
The color to my features
Which have gone
To white
From the numbness
Of first sight
Heartbeat echoes
Within my chest
Takes control
Of my will
Willing I am
Pushes my steps
Forward
And forms
The thoughts
I need
To meet her
Here
I
Go

Forget Us Not

Forget us not, we men of sea
Tho given to the waves we be
Still guided by the stars and moon
Sobering cold engraves our tomb
Careless day, unfathomed shore
Enchanted fog betwixt thine ore
You hear the creaks of stern and bow
You hear us speak, remember now.

While gone away, we're taken then
Suffer a man to breathe his end
Above the din recall the sound
Vocal rasp; the waves that bound
Sleeping night, careening mast
Beneath the stars, a bleeding past
Seeping through the misty friend
You hear us speak, remember when.

The Path

Dark hue against, across my chest
Heavy breath, afforded less
Streaking image, fleeting guest
Angst and sorrow, unwanted crest
Brow uncertain, beguiled best
Against a sea of anger, pressed;
Thrown into this stew, protest
Groan the weary, unended jest.

Grip the throat, it ends in haste
Quit the chore, forget the waste
Forgotten loaf, envexxed, unplaced
Undreampt hope, ungifted grace
Disease the pond, resist this caste
Never righted, empty space
Saturate, and turn, and baste
Bereave and follow, path untraced.

The Soldiers' Graves

Look what kneeled
And said such precarious things
Above their heads
As, "But what lovers and sons
Have darkened your paths
And tread before thee
As to be destroyed?"
And as to what thoughts
Upheld by knelten souls
Begotten upon lofty brow
Do trapse upon the graves
Of those bygone.
As dust and rain betrothe
And dirt and grain enrobe
At end of lives untold,
Do sons and daughters scold
And clothe with moral yarn
Vexed souls.

PART 2

And remembering not the crux
Of why nations' angst
Brought the thread of strain
To stain the earth dark
With vicious flow; angry flood,
From those below knelt and sow.
And senses dull from the mighty tide
Fearing not the unthought one
For easier tilled and easier grow
To find the angst of the undertow
Than to ask a grave and better know
What sorrow put at rest.
For what sense inspired thought
To kneel and differ see
That graves from lives what taken past
Are so very different
From thee?

Toddler

Kinetic discovery
Joys in hand
Sprouting knowledge
And balance
A wide line you wander
Wide margins
Worry not; fear not;
Want for naught;
Sleep softly
On gentle cotton,
And make easy the day
For the days turn quickly
Into years

Self

My hands feel cold
I labor for breath
I can only imagine my pain
At this loss
This gap in humanity
In my heart
These selfish ways
What do we do to each other
With predictable repitition
The selfish blasts
The selfish actions
The selfish pain
It all seems so clear
And so useless
This flood of human thought
This chaotic
Precise
Cold
Randomness
It begins, it ends
And always continues
And here I am,
Numb from the coldness
This bite of frost
In my heart
I am lost, at loss
I am
Without
You

Defective

They move among us
It's in their faces
In the creases of their faint smiles
It distracts them, distant
As if tugged by some unseen force
And gone unnoticed
For ages bygone
They move among us
Silently, stealing breath
From the souls of the deep
Tracing echoes, lonely patterns
In the days to come
Dance of the shadows
Lighter than the wind
They move among us
Like listless living ghosts
Unspoken, unspeakable
Diminutive whispers cast
Upon the wind
Casting stones
Upon themselves
They move among us

Edge

Surreal the moment
I am dreaming
As the wind howels
And tempts me toward
The crumbling edge
This black night
This lukewarm wind
Numbing like the dream
I am in
Peering over the edge
Far below
As if an eternity away
Taunts the openness
And solidity
Of the ground beneath
As though I have but
To release
To feel its permanence
The uncertainty
Of my step
The vertigo
Of my gaze
My arms open
I look upward
And vertigo engulfs me
And the wind carries me
Sweeping upward
Consuming me

Nothing

I didn't come with
Instructions or a toy
Or sealed for lemon-scented freshness
Only a crying, needing boy.
I don't have the skills
Thanks to you
The train of thought
Or the correct way of thinking
I am unarmed
In this nuclear conflict
Your ideals of decades past
Rebellion and free whatever
Strange that it should work out
This way
Your rebellious ideals have robbed me
Of your parent's ways
I am without ego
And have only a pretend, pop clue
Railing against a culture
Which was content
To leave me
With so much
Nothing

Painting

I've been staring at that painting
On the wall
But the lights are too dim
And the food is so good
The waitress is so pretty
With the narrow waist
And those wide hips
The music is too jolly
And the waitstaff wants me to leave
She brought me a check
And she smiled
And said,
"I'll be yourcashier when you're ready."
And I can't tell what that
Picture on the wall
Means.

Dead Fog

Stirring the fog
Which buries the trees
And I within
These forest walls
A touch in the stillness
A breath from behind,
Below
Surrounds
Pushing on through the density
The hanging air
Barely aware of it now
Removing my perception
Dangling my fears
Out of reach
A breath; a breeze
A touch; the wind
Which hangs still
Lurking
As I move through it
Watching
Purpose unknown
And fate concealed
Amongst the mist
I push through
It holds its breath
Towards the falling edge

Co-Dependant

Again I say
Again, you turn away
Carried upon tides
I seem to come and go
Investing deeper still
The stillness, vested, holds
Sway the truth
Bend the vines of hope
Creaking with our vice
Again I say
Again, you turn away
And do not grasp
Falling into the void
Trouble takes the heed
Leads the blind
By their own thoughts
Betrayed
Grinds the soul
To be

Twilight

Twilight comes the dusk
To nightfall, to dust
In spirit and mood, it must
Constraint the light, and thrust
Into a deepened dark
Asleep the meadowlark
A deepened pang to hark
Sapience, debark
Into a bitter mood
The bellows of incertitude
In the dark, true thoughts are hued
Untainted, untampered, and crude
Cruelty does its best
Puts insanity to the test
So once again, I digress
Twilight comes the sordidness